I met the family with whom I would spend 13 months as an AuPair to their child.

I remember that day as if it was yesterday: saying goodbye to all of the AuPairs who became my friends in such a short period of time, taking last souvenir pictures, seeing them going their own way, some being picked up by their family, some going to the airport or to another train.

I remember the card the I. family sent me when I was still in Stamford, CT for the orientation, it was so pretty and the words really encouraged me to be strong and that's when I was sure I was put in a good family.

I remember being in the train, standing up with another girl because our luggages were too big to put them anywhere but next to the doors.

I remember that after that girl left, I went to sit down next to an old man who smiled at me (I'm pretty sure he knew I was nervous).

And then I remember getting out of the train and looking around: I remember that there were so many people, so many. I'd never seen so many people on a platform before. I remember the open parking behind, made of 2 or 3 floors, i remember feeling lost for a little minute.

And all of a sudden, I saw a tall man, not too close, not too far. We saw each other, we recognized each other. He told C. that I was there and I saw her head turn around and I think my heart started racing because I knew I was safe then. They rushed towards me amongst the passengers, I was so happy. I saw that M. had little E. in his arms and this really warmed my heart: she was here too, I was about to meet the little girl I would take care of for 13 months.

I still remember so closely the feelings of that exact moment I recognized the I. family, it's really extraordinary how even though I'd never met these people and only wrote and sent pictures, I could feel a powerful sense of security and love.

That's when I knew the journey in America was a dream come true.

I took my first flight out to the West.

It was she first time I was leaving my family for a long period of time.

It was the first time I took a plane.

It was the first time I was feeling so vulnerable and small and young.

It was my first time in the USA.

10 years ago, my life changed.

Going to the USA for a year was one of the best decisions of my life:

I learned so much, about others, about the importance of a family, about being brave, about living the way you want to, but mostly about me.

I learned that you have to be part of a strong family to be able to survive out there but also that people will help you in any way possible if you're in need.

I learned that you choose your life, nobody else does: you make your own path and you make mistakes you'd be sure not to make again.

I learned that if you really want something, you just go and get it, no matter the circumstances and the difficulties.

I learned that distance relationship are hard but not impossible: I've made the bestest of friends during that period.

I saw clichés about the Americans fall apart, I saw clichés about the Americans make me smile.

I saw how beautiful life can be when you have the freedom of living each day as it comes.

I saw freedom for the first time.

Yes, ten years ago I decided to live my life the way I wanted it to be and there are no regrets.

Et lorsque je l'ai gardée elle en avait 4... On ne voit vraiment pas le temps passer !

Elle, c'est une petite américaine, Ellen dont je me suis occupée pendant 13 mois il y a environ 5 ans. On s'entendait très bien et on rigolait souvent.

Elle me manque beaucoup aujourd'hui mais je me dis qu'elle va bien même si je n'ai pas de nouvelles depuis bientôt un an. Elle grandit bien, fait même du foot.

Je reçois une foto chaque année et elle change, elle n'est plus la petite fille que j'ai gardé, elle est maintenant une pré-ado et ça fait bizarre. Mais bon, je ressens la même chose avec mes petites soeurs.. Je crois qu'on aimerais que les enfants restent comme on les as connus...

Ellen, si un jour tu lis ce blog,
BON ANNIVERSAIRE, MA GRANDE !

N'oublies pas que je pense tous les jours à toi !