Even before I was pregnant, I knew I wanted to breastfeed my children, it was not even a question, it was just what felt natural to me because I've seen it been done in my family: my Mom breastfed all of us apart for my littlest sister (because of the medication for her heart) and I've seen my aunts and my sister and sister-in-law breastfeed their children as well.

I didn't know then that there could be troubles and challenges and that sometimes babies wouldn't want to latch or that I could have no milk supply.

I was fortunate enough to experience only a few challenges during the first few weeks (see 52/2015 | thirteen): É latched pretty well and my milk supply could have been enough for two babies.

Those challenges still made me doubt myself and my ability to provide for my baby girl. During the first days of her life I thought É.'s latch wasn't ok. I took pictures to show the nurses (which I actually didn't do) but every single one of them told me she latched ok. That's when I started doubting their judgement... But all was okay.

At home, during some breastfeeding sessions, I was so stressed thinking there was a problem that lactation didn't arrive fast enough or not at all, which made me even more stressed. At one point, Peter was so stressed because É. was crying so much that he ran to the pharmacy to get a bottle and artificial milk: she drank 30ml and slept through the night... I felt so disappointed with myself and even thought about abandoning breastfeeding. But the next day, the mid-man came and explained what was happening (breast too big + nipple too small + little bébé) and the nipple shield saved our breastfeeding sessions. I still use it from time to time but I almost don't need it anymore, É. is stronger and eats more regularly. She a little fighter and I'm very proud of her. And of me for sticking to it through the challenges.

16*52/2015
É.: she fell asleep like this and it made me giggle

Shot 18/04/2015 on a Canon 70D - 1/30 - ƒ/3.5 - ISO 5000

 This photo project is linked to the beautiful 52-project of Jodi on Practising Simplicity.


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