I feel so tired. I feel like a complete failure right now and I can't talk to anybody.

I want to talk to my Mom but she already has so much going on that I don't want to add my problems to her worries.

I want to talk to my best friend but she doesn't want to talk to me, God knows why!

I want to talk to my good friend E. but I can't. She's not at that stage yet.

In fact I don't want to talk about it with anyone. I'm just too frustrated.

Lieverd just came back home and I'm acting as if I'm ok. This is wrong but I don't want him to feel sad for me. I now know he's ready but you know, not really. Like if we don't have a baby in 9 months, it's ok. And It's okay with me too. But I knew that if I did the test and once more, it's negative, I'd feel this bad. It'd meant that something else is going on and it's really bad. I'm just tired of all this.